The "Non Mantra"what did we do to make them so angry?
"I didn't Cause it,
I can't Cure it,
and...
I can't Control it."
We are no longer responsible for another. We are only responsible for our own actions and behaviours.
The "Non Mantra"
I didn't cause it.
It's very common for ourselves to cloak the mantel of a victims of abuse to blame ourselves for the abuse. We may begin to ask our selves "what did we do to make them so angry?" It's only natural to assume that everything has a cause and effect and therefore if someone is treating us badly perhaps we did something to deserve it.
However, those who suffer from personality disorders often exhibit dissociation - where their perception of what is real and what is not is skewed by their swings in mood.
Additionally, those who abuse others often look for justification for their behaviour and a convenient excuse can usually be found in the imperfections of the hapless victim.
At The Dissociationalist, we believe everyone is responsible for their own actions and must be held accountable for their own behaviour. This includes those who suffer form personality disorders and those who don't. This means that nobody is responsible for causing the behaviour of another.
I can't cure it.
It is quite common for Non-PD's to try to look for a cure or a treatment for their loved-ones to try to restore their behavior back to a healthy level. While this is a noble thought, it denies what scientific evidence teaches us, that no known cure exists for personality disorders at this time.
Thus searches for a cure typically lead to frustration on the part of the non-PD, who sets themselves up for disappointment, and for the personality disordered individual, who often feels irritated and invalidated by the approaches taken by their well-meaning but ill-advised loved-ones.
I can't control it.
While no outright cures exist, some treatment programs do exist to assist personality disordered individuals to reach a better quality of life for themselves and their loved-ones.
However, it is also common for people who suffer from personality disorder to avoid treatment or to refuse to acknowledge that they have a problem.
In these situations, it is common for family members and spouses and partners to try to cajole them into treatment programs and to try to make it easier for them to be successful in these programs.
However, successful treatment almost always requires the full commitment of the person who suffers from the personality disorder and efforts by others close to them to artificially produce these kind of results often create disillusionment for the Non-PD.
The "Non Mantra"
I didn't cause it.
It's very common for ourselves to cloak the mantel of a victims of abuse to blame ourselves for the abuse. We may begin to ask our selves "what did we do to make them so angry?" It's only natural to assume that everything has a cause and effect and therefore if someone is treating us badly perhaps we did something to deserve it.
However, those who suffer from personality disorders often exhibit dissociation - where their perception of what is real and what is not is skewed by their swings in mood.
Additionally, those who abuse others often look for justification for their behaviour and a convenient excuse can usually be found in the imperfections of the hapless victim.
At The Dissociationalist, we believe everyone is responsible for their own actions and must be held accountable for their own behaviour. This includes those who suffer form personality disorders and those who don't. This means that nobody is responsible for causing the behaviour of another.
I can't cure it.
It is quite common for Non-PD's to try to look for a cure or a treatment for their loved-ones to try to restore their behavior back to a healthy level. While this is a noble thought, it denies what scientific evidence teaches us, that no known cure exists for personality disorders at this time.
Thus searches for a cure typically lead to frustration on the part of the non-PD, who sets themselves up for disappointment, and for the personality disordered individual, who often feels irritated and invalidated by the approaches taken by their well-meaning but ill-advised loved-ones.
I can't control it.
While no outright cures exist, some treatment programs do exist to assist personality disordered individuals to reach a better quality of life for themselves and their loved-ones.
However, it is also common for people who suffer from personality disorder to avoid treatment or to refuse to acknowledge that they have a problem.
In these situations, it is common for family members and spouses and partners to try to cajole them into treatment programs and to try to make it easier for them to be successful in these programs.
However, successful treatment almost always requires the full commitment of the person who suffers from the personality disorder and efforts by others close to them to artificially produce these kind of results often create disillusionment for the Non-PD.
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